What’s your name?: Chantry

Where are you from?: Originally: Hammon, Oklahoma, population 500. Now: Orlando, Florida, population much larger.

Was that a good place to grow up?: Hammon was a great place to grow up. I actually lived on a farm for the first fifteen years of my life and that was great! It was safe. We didn’t lock the doors at night and I could disappear all day long and play on the river and no one was worried. It was a place where I could be creative.

How old are you?: I’m 28

What’s your ethnic background?: White farm boy/city boy. I’m actually descended from British, Dutch, and Native American Stock

What do you do for a living?: I am an actor. I just began my professional career after spending the last three years in grad school getting my Masters of Fine Arts in Acting.

What do you do for fun?: I love going to the farmer’s market on Sunday mornings in Orlando. I love to travel. I’ve been abroad, but there is nothing better than seeing the great sights here in the U.S. I also enjoy going home to visit family. What else? Movies, bars, coffee bars, cafés are all great

Are you single?: Yes I am.

What kind of man turns you on?: An honest man! I’ve been hurt quite a bit in the last couple of years and it all has to do with lies. Just be honest! I don’t understand why that is so hard sometimes. Physically, I’m attracted to all kinds of guys, from teeny tiny chasers to bigger guys. And hopefully he has some chest hair. Eyes and good teeth turn me one too. And maybe a tattoo in the right place! Sense of humor is good for me too.

Are you more leather or flannel?: I’m more Donna Karan! And Florida is way too hot for either!

What’s the craziest and/or naughtiest thing you’ve ever done in public?: Oh! Wouldn’t you love to know! I’m constantly making an ass of myself in public…so something crazy usually happens whenever I’m in public. But there was one night at a local bar where I was caught up in a bear sandwich in front of many, many people. And some things popped out that usually aren’t seen in public.

Do you hang out with cubs and bears? You go to bear events?: I have some amazing bear and cub friends that are some of the most loyal people I have in my life. I don’t go to a lot of bear events. I’ve been to a few, but crowds make me so nervous. BUT! I’ve never been to a bear event as a single guy, so my feelings may change now.

Do you like to party and go out on the town or are you more the stay at home cub?: I love it all! I live two blocks from a club downtown Orlando and I can usually be found there. Whenever I’m working on a show, I’m more inclined to stay at home after a long day of rehearsal. But I love to have fun.

What are you looking for in a guy? One-night stand or Long-term? Family?: I’m at a crossroads in my life. I’m recently single (in the last 5 months) and I never thought that was going to happen. I thought I had found the one. Turns out I was wrong. Like I mentioned earlier, honesty is important to me. And I think I’m getting over random one night stands. I’ve had some great fun in my life but that may be winding down. I’ve stopped looking for a relationship as I begin my career, but it will happen when it happens. And at this point, family isn’t in my scope.

How do you see your life in ten years?: Working successfully in NYC, Chicago, or Philly or all three! I hope to be acting. I hope to be successful. I hope to have love. I hope I’m in a place to give back to the incredible people that have touched me in some way. And there will probably be some botox involved in the next ten years! Kidding (kind of).

Give us a quote: “Life is a banquet and most poor sons of bitches are starving” - Auntie Mame

“I don’t want to live the rest of my life with regret, what if, or hate. I want to live the rest of my life with love and health.” - Me

Freestylin: I never know what to write when I’m given no lead. I’m an actor. I learn what other people want me to say, but I still have my own voice.

I’m a funny guy. I’m shallow sometimes. I love my mom. I’m happy to get out of bed in the morning. I love naps. I’m happy to be on this earth, living.

I’m still looking for the true, 100% authentic me. It’s been a long journey and one that isn’t complete yet. I’m great in bed (I’ve been told) HA! I love kissing and the occasional dry hump! What else? I have no idea, you will just have to find out!

orlandocubby@yahoo.com

What’s your name?: Justin.

Where are you from?: I was born in Jefferson, Texas, grew up in Dallas, went to college in Tyler and now I am in Houston for law school.

How old are you?: 23 now, 24 in October

What’s your ethnic background?: African American

Are you single?: Yes.

Do you have any bear or cub buds?: A few and making more now. I like meeting new people. I make friends easily because I look for the potential in everyone. One should always give everyone a chance. Give them time to reveal themselves to you. Then I decide how they fit into my life: a leaf, a branch, or a root. Leaves come and go with the seasons. They are there for a moment, but they have a purpose. Branches are there longer and you think they will stay. Some of them do, yet some of them, when you put a little weight on them, they break. Roots are those who hold you up and give you your foundation. We all have about three or four roots. They will always be there and you can always call on them for anything. All of these people make an impact on your life. You learn a valuable lesson and one would be a fool not to heed it.

What turns you on?: A man who is a man. If I wanted to date a girl, I would. I like someone who knows what they want out of life and goes for it. Someone who is educated, driven, well spoken, and loves to travel. I like guys who aren’t afraid to be themselves. A few tattoos and piercings here and there are nice also, but not a requirement. I also like someone who has some meat on their bones. That’s always been a big turn on.

Are you more leather or flannel?: Neither. I love my athletic shorts and t-shirts. I have always played sports, especially football, so it is what I am comfortable in. However, if I had to choose I would go leather. I love a little excitement in life.

Tell us about your ink and steel?: I got my ear lobes pierced a couple of days before my 21st birthday. That was the beginning of it all. I have always wanted to be different and this added to it. When you grow up having to be perfect, one brews a sense of rebellion. I then got my labret done, followed by my traguses. I got my first tattoo three months ago. I have three stars on my right calf, then I got live *life *love done on my left calf. That’s my life motto. We all have to live our lives and love it. If you don’t then there is no point in living. I now have two stars done on my shoulders. Stephanie at the Electric Chair in Houston did an amazing job. I plan for her to do a Koi fish on my left arm. I have an array of pieces I want done. By the time I die I want to be a walking piece of art. I already get stared at, I can’t wait to see the looks I get when I am done LOL. I live my life in balance. That is why when I get one piece done I have to have another to balance out on my body. Everything is in twos. I guess it’s the Libra in me, craving balance and justice.

I read that you’re into photography. Is that your passion?: Oh yes. I have always loved to take pictures. I was yearbook editor in high school and college, but never got to take many images. I then worked at a summer camp doing photography. I decided to break down and buy a professional camera last December. It was the best investment I have ever made. Photography is the thing. When I think about it I begin to smile. I get excited like a child on Christmas morning. Photography is so intimate. There I am capturing a moment in time that no one else has. It belongs to me forever. In that image I can capture so many emotions and see into the depths of a person’s soul. I have seen photos where photographers just click and shoot. That’s it. I imagine the image before hand, picture it, and then make it happen. I put my heart and soul in my images and I feel it shows. You can check out my work at www.myspace.com/justinokeithphotography and http://www.jpgmag.com/people/etbujabe07

What’s your idea of an ideal Saturday night?: I’m not a big bar or club guy. Don’t get me wrong, when I go I do have fun, but it gets old to me. I would rather sit at home with friends, talking about life, having dinner, watching tv or a movie. Those small moments are the ones I value in life. They are so much more intimate and insightful.

How about sports? Play? Watch?: Let’s see. I played football in high school. I was center and captain my senior year. I also played tennis. It is fun and I enjoy it. I was told I couldn’t play tennis because I didn’t look like a tennis player. So I picked up a racket and learned. Never tell me what I can’t do. I will make it my mission to accomplish it and prove you wrong. I love volleyball. I have been playing since 1996. I played city league a couple of years ago, and I want to get back into it. I was also a college cheerleader. It looked like fun so I did it. Some of the best memories in my life and a national championship. Not many guys can hold a girl above their heads lol.

Science Fiction, eh? What’s your Sci-Fi fix?: Yes I am a sci-fi lover. I have watched Star Trek since 1993 sitting in my grandparents living room. I love it. I also watch Babylon 5, Star Wars, Doctor Who, or anything about space or the future. I think it’s the explorer in me. I crave to see what is out there. One of my favorite movies is the Last Star Fighter.

If you had to be lost in space with just one guy, who would it be?: (laughs) That’s a great question. Not many people know this guy, but he’s an actor on Babylon 5. His name is Ed Wasser. I don’t know what it is about that man, but wow!

What are your tastes in music?: I love it all, except country. Trailer park queens and Bubba leaving Suzie Mae because the truck has a flat doesn’t do it for me. I like this band called Dragonette. Check them out. It all depends on my mood. I can go from Gwen Stefani, Godsmack, Kanye West, Rhianna, and Rammstein in a minute.

Do you see yourself settling down one day? Build a family?: I do. I want to have the family life with a house in the suburbs and the cars, etc. I want about three little boys, my sons. My dad was never around when I was a kid. I rarely talk to him. I want my boys to know I will always be there for them. I want to teach them how to be a man, and that you can be any man you want to be. You don’t have to conform to what society says you have to be. You can still achieve success being who you are.

Give us a quote: From one of my favorite shows Nip/Tuck: “Beware of weak men. They will do anything for a little power.”

Freestylin: I’m weird, I’m strange, I’m pretty fucked up, and I don’t live the typical life. I’m honest, straightforward, and can come off as abrasive. I love to keep people guessing and being the whisper on the disapproving tongues when I walk into the room. I desire every moment of it. I’m 23, a law student, and I have a passion for photography. I don’t really know what I want to do with my life but I know I am destined for great things. I am trying the law school route now so we will see how that goes. I severely doubt I will practice law, but who knows; however, first I need to make it through law school. It’s hard work and you have moments thinking you wont make it, but in the end I feel, I know, I will make it through. I see life from a perplexing perspective. Many people think either I’m an asshole or a big joker, but I just prefer to enjoy my life and live every moment of it. You only get one life and I would rather sit back and say “yeah, I did something” than look back saying “I wish I did this and that”, regretting every moment lost.

I can be reached at etbujabe07@aol.com . You can also find me on myspace at www.myspace.com/patriotcheerdude. My other profiles are: http://www.BEAR411.com/Etbujabe07, http://www.silverdaddies.com/584025, and http://www.bearciti.com/index.aspx?profile=etbujabe07.

What’s your name?: Wilhelm

Where are you from?: Los Angeles, California

How old are you?: 21 years old

What’s your ethnic background?: Armenian and German

You’re a student, right? What are you studying?: Psychology and Comparative World Literature. I want to go to graduate school for Cognitive Neuropsychology.

I know you have very little free time. What do you do for fun?: I like to read, write, play video games, and see movies with friends. I also like to relax in coffee shops. Oh, and sleep. Sleep is important, albiet sparse, these days.

Are you single?: Negative!

Do you hang out with any bears or cubs?: Yep! I’ve met some both on campus and online.

What turns you on?: Ambition.

Do you have an inner “bad cub”?: Doesn’t everyone? Show me someone who doesn’t.

Are you an outdoors kind of guy?: I wish I could say I was, but no, I prefer a cup of coffee with a book while being wrapped up in a blanket… and windows separating me from the outside world. I hear there are bears out there.

How about sports? Play? Watch?: I was tri-varsity in high school. I played football, I wrestled, and I was on track and field. I don’t watch a lot of sports other than football, but sometimes I catch lacrosse because my brother plays at the high school level.

So, I read that you like video games? What’s your favorite? Why?: WOW! What a question! I would say an older game - Chrono Cross. It was a single player game for the Playstation 1. It had a complex, time-bending, fantastic story, brilliant visuals, and a huge cast of both endearing and frightening characters. I’ve played it many times.

Are you a creative guy?: Absolutely. I draw, sometimes paint, and I write. I also do mosaics out of magazine clippings, and I used to do printmaking. I’ve also written many stories and essays in what little free time I have!

What are your tastes in music?: Mainly indie music, and some alternative rock. I’ll give most everything a listen, except country. I just can’t get into it.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?: Probably teaching at a university somewhere while I look for work as a research scientist.

Give us a quote: “My library was dukedom large enough.” (/The Tempest/, I.ii.109-110)

Freestylin: I can’t take someone seriously if they don’t know how to spell the word “masturbate”. I’m a former English major… so sue me.

What’s your name?: My name is Cris.

Where are you from?: I currently live in Omaha, NE

How old are you?: I’m 33.

What’s your ethnic background?: I’m about as white as white can get, with relatives hailing from Germany and England.

What do you do for a living?: I am a student of human nature. To pay the bills I am an emergency hospital dispatcher.

What do you do for fun?: I’m a gamer geek, but I also enjoy photography, playing music, and taking in any kinds of movies I can sit still long enough for.

What kind of guy turns you on?: Physically I like the stocky types. Height and weight aren’t really super important. Amazing eyes and a captivating smile will catch my eye every time. Mentally, I like stimulation. Make me think. Make me laugh. Be willing and able to start out a conversation talking about the state of our education system, but some how be able to end up talking about life on other planets.

Are you single or taken?: I am happily taken.

What’s your man like?: He is a gentle soul. Laid back. Passionate about his work. We have just enough dissimilar interests, so he compliments me well.

What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?: That’s a tough question. I’d love to have some wild and crazy story that I could share, but for the most part I’m pretty straight-laced.

Are you pierced?: Yes. Both nipples.

Do you consider yourself a part of the “bear scene”?: Yes and no. I consider myself a bear-by-proxy. I find myself attracted to the bearish guys. Though, I don’t know that I’d fit any mold for what some consider a bear or cub.

So tell me about fencing.: Fencing is a great aerobic workout. It’s takes a lot of leg strength as well as short quick bursts of speed and power. What other sport allows you to swing a sword around? It may not be a hugely popular sport, but I’ve never been about going with the flow and popularity. Plus, it makes a good conversation topic.

Sean Astin? My best friend is a devotee. Explain the attraction.: Growing up, I enjoyed him as an actor. I’m a huge fan of the movie The Goonies. As I got older and so did he, things change. My fanboyness easily turned into attraction with movies like Rudy and the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. There is something about his boy next door looks that gets me. He seems like the type of guy that wouldn’t wig out if I came up to him and proclaimed my eternal love.

Where are your tastes musically?: I can’t say that I don’t like any one type of music, because I eventually find something I like. But as a general rule, my tastes lean more towards the alternative. 10,000 Maniacs. Ben Folds. Feist. Sia. Death Cab For Cutie. For Fighters.

So you love movies. If you could be one character from any movie, who would you be?: Sean Astin aside, I would pick Mikey from The Goonies. He was having the type of adventures that I loved to have. Hell, that I still would love to have. He was a young man’s Indiana Jones. Ooo… Maybe Indiana Jones! I do already have the fedora and whip.

Are you and your partner planning to grow a big ole bear family? Kids?: Who knows what the future will hold. At this point I’d guess that our ‘kids’ would be the four-legged kind. He’s a cat person and I’m a dog fan. Only time will tell how that plays out.

Give us a quote: “It takes a lot of courage to turn out to be the person you really are.” -e. e. cummings
I really can relate to that quote. I think it is important for everyone to be true to themselves. Be who you are. Don’t be what you think someone wants you to be. You’ll be stronger as a result.

Freestylin: Don’t be afraid to take a chance once in a while. Step outside your comfort zone. Don’t be a stereotype. Wear a helmet. I find it a little ironic that I’d be asked to interview for such a site, but I consider it an honor. Thanks for the opportunity.

Take one Russian cub. Pop him in a hot tub. Stew for ten minutes. Stir. Enjoy! Check out Vladi and his boys at uknakedmen.com. Something for every…er, um…taste!
Soup’s on!

What’s your name?: Mike or Michael

Where are you from?: Not really sure, but I currently live in NY. I was raised in the military, so I’ve lived around the United States from Washington to Kentucky and so on. I really don’t have a place to call home, and sometimes I feel like I am in lost in OZ…like Dorothy Gale. I’m still trying to find myself and trying to find my way back home. Kansas? Not the answer. Or maybe it is?

Was that a good place to grow up?: Never really sure when I think about it. I do have good memories of living and growing up in Fort Knox, KY. I’ve lived in New York at the USMA for about 10 years, and didn’t enjoy it so much. I became shy when I moved here as a kid. Since college I’ve opened up a lot. I won’t be able to stay here once I turn 23 - the cutoff age to live in the military with your parents. In general I would say living a sheltered life as a military brat is a good and bad thing. Good in a sense you experience a lot, traveling and meeting people, and bad in a sense you never really have a place to call home. Childhood memories are spread out from fort to fort. You can’t really go back to the street you grew up on because they’re thousands of miles away.

How old are you?: Just turned 22 in April.

What’s your ethnic background?: I’m a mutt. Italian, Spanish, German, Irish, Scottish, and I believe much more. My Italian and Spanish genetics show the most.

What do you do for a living?: I’m currently a photography student at a Purchase College State University of New York. I’ve been told I have talent from my professors but honestly I think I might go into teaching.I’ve even thought about law enforcement. I do get more excited thinking about being a police officer then photographing a wedding. Maybe it’s the uniform? I also love to entertain people with my creations. I have many directions to go in. I just do not know which path to pick.

What do you do for fun?: I really enjoy theme parks, carnivals, painting, writing, camping, hiking, travel, laser tag, video games, cuddling with someone all night, and showering with someone. I also love a good movie here and there. There’s also modding and mapping for the Unreal Engine (video game). It’s another fun past time I have, but it takes up a lot of time. Sex is fun also… especially wild sex out in the woods.

So you’re photographer. How did you discover your passion?: Multiple elements contributed to my passion for photography. I played with my father’s camcorder around 8 or 9 and started playing with Nintendo’s Gameboy Camera around 10. In high school I experimented with my parent’s digital camera. In 2004 I took a road trip with my grandparents from Utah to New Jersey. When I arrived back home my art teacher in high school said I should consider going to college for photography. So I did, loved it, and it became a passion. I’ve recently been told I photograph like well-known photographers Judith Joy Ross and Diane Arbus. A photo of mine is being published in Photographer’s Forum Magazine this summer. I’m very excited about it. I’d like to publish my own book in the future once I get the chance and the time.

What kind of man turns you on?: Masculine looking men who have much more bigger libidos then I have. I like men who give me a good push to get me heated up for some action. I’m the wood, you just need to light that match and poor that gasoline all over to get me heated up! So if I was on a date with a guy at his place and watching a movie and then started rubbing at my crotch and unzipped me, I would love it. I’m into men who are also into role play, like dressing up as a cop or S.W.A.T. Beards and goatees are my biggest turn on. Sadly I can be shallow and not like a man if they don’t have some sort of facial hair. I have no idea where it comes from but it exists and I just can’t do anything about it. I am attracted to men with power and experience guys who are good looking in the face department. I guess I can be very picky. I’m not a size queen, but if you have a big one in your pants that is a plus. Oh…and I have a thing for British accents.

I read that you like leather. So, tell me about your kink.: I have leather cuffs, leather ass-less chaps, leather gloves, a leather vest, leather skullcap, and a leather bikers hat. I love the smell of it. Leather me feel somewhat powerful when wearing it. I’ve fantasized about traveling the United States by motorcycle and photographing my journey. In a kinky sense I love seeing men wear leather vests and jackets. I find it hot and attractive, especially in the the bedroom.

Do you hang out with cubs and bears? You go to bear events?: Never been to a bear event but would maybe in the future. I know a few cubs at my college, but that is all. Not many bears or cubs on in the USMA I’ll tell you that much. All the bears and cubs are either up north near Newburgh and New Paltz or down south in New York City. When I’m back in college during the fall and spring semesters I’m much closer to the city.

So you like Disney World? What’s your favorite ride?: I love Disney World out of all Disney resort theme parks thus far. I don’t have a favorite ride at this time, and I am more about the experience being there and having and sharing the fun with someone. I might internship there after I graduate.

I hear you like horror movies. The zombies are coming. What weapon do you choose?: I’d choose a Benelli shotgun. Auto reloading, quick, and wide spread shots would do the job very well. Someone needs to make a gay themed zombie movie with a hot woofy bear as the main zombie slayer… seriously. Maybe I should write the script?

Do you like to write? What’s your genre?: I enjoy writing horror or fantasy. If you combined Edgar with Carroll you would get my type of writing. I write when I get the urge to.

What are you looking for in a guy?: I just started seeing and dating men this year because I just came out this year. I’m still hiding in the closet from family. I don’t mind a one-night stand but they need to know what it is from the beginning. I’m looking for someone who will pull me into their life and will seriously consider a long-term-relationship. I prefer being with someone who has a stable income, has a job, has a place to stay, is very serious about a relationship, and truly wants me for emotional support, to socialize with, and even sex and fun if needed. I would have a family with someone if they wanted one. At this time in my life I’m going to probably want to take the part as the stay at home dad who watches the kid or kids, cleans the home, and cooks the meals when “daddy bear” is working.

Give us a quote: “Take your time, old man.” – H. H. Holmes

Freestylin: Thanks Kurt for contacting me!! If anyone writes me, be sure to understand that I am a very shy guy and I’m going through a stressful time in my life. My father is in Iraq, I just came out this year, I don’t want my mother finding out about this right now. You will really need to smooth talk me the older you are if you’re over 35. I’m dating someone who wants a monogamous relationship. He is 32 and very handsome. I am very attracted to him, and we have quite a few things in common. We aren’t too serious now, but you never know what will happen. Currently the relationship is open, but please respect that I am dating.

Contact Mike at: http://www.myspace.com/mr_grimm, http://www.BEAR411.com/LeathermanThe3rd, http://www.bearciti.com/Crocodile_Eyes
and on AIM as grimmbigbadwolf

BCC: What’s your name?

KEN: My name’s Ken. I have no qualms about using my real name.

BCC: Where are you from?

KEN: I’m from Northfield, Ohio USA (unfortunately).

BCC: So, never strayed from your roots?

KEN: You mean being an Ohioan?

BCC: Sure.

KEN: I’ve spent most of my life trying to get as far from Ohio as I could. I haven’t quite escaped its gravitational pull yet. Though I have lived all over the state and in Louisiana for a brief while. I’ve traveled all over the country though and parts of Europe. I’m still hoping to permanently move somewhere else eventually.

BCC: Ya know - I actually spent a year in Ohio - early college years. I can relate to the magic!

KEN: Well, I went to Kent State University. It was decent there, but the weather isn’t wonderful here. I’ve just never been keen on Ohio in any way, shape or form. (smile)

BCC: Speaking of roots – what’s your ethnic heritage?

KEN: Well, I’m a bit of a Heinz 57 mix. Half Czech/Slovak, the rest, a European mix, from English to Lithuanian to Polish.

BCC: Big family?

KEN: Not really. One older sister and that’s it. But one sister is plenty when you’re younger.

BCC: Ohhhh yeah. So, are you single?

KEN: Still taking applications.

BCC: Are you the “settling down” kind of guy or are you looking for a roller coaster ride through Bear Forest?

KEN: I’ve always been the “settling down” type. I like to have the occasional wild moment just to spice up life, but overall I’m pretty much a homebody. I don’t want life to ever be too boring, yet I like having that comfort zone.

BCC: I understand you walk a road rarely traveled by the layman. Tell us about your special relationship with the paranormal.

KEN: I’ve always been fascinated by ghosts, the paranormal, and the metaphysical. I think it’s because I could relate to ghosts in my teenage years. I felt just as invisible and outside the norm. At sixteen I started taking little excursions to visit reportedly haunted places and I’ve been checking them out ever since. I started my own website a decade ago… belonged to several paranormal groups too. The stories are fascinating, and it’s a lot duller than people assume. They see TAPS on the SciFi Channel and think it’s a joy ride, but really it’s many boring hours sitting in the dark. And many hours of tape reviewing and fighting off sleep. It’s one of those things you have to enjoy doing, because earning a living from it is nearly impossible.

BCC: My best friend is a metaphysical counselor and investigator. I’ve been fascinated by his experiences. I myself have had paranormal experiences all my life. But what do you say to the guys out there who may be a bit less sympathetic. Let’s face it…unless you’ve had an encounter, ghosts are either little white sheets with two eyes cut out or Patrick Swayze and a pottery wheel.

KEN: I’ve dealt with skepticism all my life. And even though I am a paranormal investigator, I remain as skeptical as I can be about most things. I’m not here to try to prove to the world that there’s something more to life after death. People are free to believe what they want. And there are a lot of fake stories floating around… things with rational explanations. Still, I’ve been touched, had my name called on audio cassette, seen shadows and strange lights. I can’t explain away everything I experience. It’s up to the individuals to form their own opinions. And with so many haunted places everywhere in the world, anyone can check them out for themselves. I’ve been doing this for thirteen years, but haven’t experienced the paranormal everywhere, every single time.

BCC: So, your “positive” experiences are fewer than the “negatives”?

KEN: Oh, definitely. I’ve never once been hurt or harmed. I’ve known people who have had cameras slapped out of their hands, but never anyone physically injured. I always cringe when people talk about “demons” too. I don’t believe in demons or angels, just a simple good and bad. I’ve encountered ghosts of serial killers and very helpful people, but why attach a religious stigma to it?

BCC: Interesting. The program PARANORMAL STATE on A&E tends to lend a lot of credence to the religious side of investigation. They’re always leaving Catholic medals on windowsills and chanting protection prayers. I guess the “field” is open to much personal interpretation.

KEN: Oh, definitely. I think the only reason I like watching PARANORMAL STATE sometimes is for Chip Coffey (you can’t go wrong with a gay psychic) and the eye candy. (Ryan and Sergey are quite nice). I disagree with them on the religious and demonic aspects, as well as getting rid of ghosts. I’ve had people ask me to get rid of a ghost, and I always decline. I just tell people to treat them like roommates. The odds of anyone having a negative experience are very small. Most of the time, ghosts just want us to acknowledge their existence. Just let them know you’re aware that they’re there and things simmer down.
The field is full of odd people too. I’ve run into some crazy people over the years.

BCC: Ah, Chip. The man does whip his psychic bad self around the heads of the fearful. Now, if only he was a little more…butch.

KEN: Well, it takes all kinds! I’ve never spoken with him, but I’ve met people who have met him. I don’t have any issue with the more “queeny” guys. I can get along with almost anyone.

BCC: Well, you have to understand my need to “represent”. We bears gotta stick together!

KEN: HA HA! Oh I understand. I’ve been a lurker in the bear community for a few years now. I’ve never quite felt that I fit into any of the gay community’s smaller classifications.

BCC: Speaking of labels - do you call yourself a “ghost hunter”, “paranormal investigator” or something else?

KEN: Well, I prefer “paranormal investigator”, but say ‘ghost hunter’ so people know what I mean. The latter implies that I’m “hunting” for them, but I think of myself more of someone observing and seeking them out.

BCC: Got it. Do you hunt for hire?

KEN: Well, I don’t charge. But I will occasionally check out a place by request. I prefer looking into public places, so people can experience them firsthand if they want. I do work with a few paranormal groups though so I leave the private investigations to them, usually.

BCC: Did you go through any special training?

KEN: Not really, just years of experience. A lot of places offer “certification”, but really it’s not reliable. It’s mostly a money-making gimmick. I’ve done a lot of reading over the years and more investigations than I can possibly count. That’s where you get the real training.

BCC: What advice would you give to budding investigators?

KEN: Don’t expect any fame. Don’t do it for some type of glory. Odds are, you’ll never find it. And it never hurts to check into a local group and test the waters. There are some decent groups everywhere… but it’s a rough road.

BCC: Do your exploits ever pick up media attention?

KEN: Once in a while, yes. I’ve been on local news with a few paranormal groups over the years. The Terminal Tower in Cleveland, a cemetery or two here and there. I was in a magazine once, though it wasn’t the kindest article. A local newspaper did an article about me too a few years ago.

BCC: I understand you’re a published author. What have you done?

KEN: Well, I wrote a small book of local ghost stories a few years ago, Haunted Cuyahoga. I’ve written a few articles here and there too, including one for the Gay Peoples Chronicle back in the 1990’s. I dabble in screen writing. I’ve written a movie script and have a few others in the works. I’m also a columnist for an online Australian magazine, GenerationQ (Yabbering Yank) and an avid blogger. I have a lot of plans for writing projects too.

BCC: Congrats! And your website? How do we get there?

KEN: Thanks!
Well, my paranormal site is http://www.hauntedcuyahoga.com.
My blog can be found at http://moonspenders.blogspot.com.

BCC: How about e-mail?

KEN: I have so many. The best one is moonspenders@yahoo.com. I use it most often.

BCC: I’m so glad we finally go to to this, my friend. You’re a sexy man…with a fascinating life. Let’s stay in touch, shall we? I’d like to have you back to check in on your adventures.

KEN: Oh definitely! And thanks! I’ll admit my pursuits lately have been more for a husband than ghosts, but it all works.

BCC: Well let’s hope your husband hunting career ends soon. All the best, my friend. Good luck!

“You can’t be gay! No way! You don’t look gay!” These are some very common reactions when friends and relatives find out that a tough, masculine guy they’ve known for some time prefers to be with other guys. What makes them say these things? What is a “gay” supposed to look like? Unfortunately, the majority of people grow up in an environment that teaches them to think in generalities, which eventually create stereotypes. Those fucking stereotypes that make life more difficult for those of us who don’t fit society’s expectations.

With gay men people seem to expect certain “qualities” as evidence that we are who/what we say we are. Where I come from, we were always taught that all gays are effeminate, flamboyant, lisping sissy-boys with a penchant for dressing like women, flower arranging and interior design. Does that sound like the majority to you? Hell no! Of course we all know of someone who fits one of those descriptions because they rather stick out in your mind. Therein lies the seed of the stereotype.

Through no fault of our own, homosexuals were not historically depicted in a good light and people have a tendency to attack and fear what they don’t understand. So naturally we didn’t want to do anything obvious (like kissing or holding hands in public) that could draw attention. We were simply overlooked and continued to survive. However, the “queens” have always been easiest to identify. So society labeled and branded them (figuratively speaking) and began to equate all gays with the effeminate and flamboyant members of our community. And so it began. A powerful stereotype was born of those that stood out from mainstream society because of their public behavior, not their sexual preference.

Interestingly enough, the majority of the gay population doesn’t actually fit the “gay” stereotype. Some may possess one or more qualities, but typically don’t blatantly display them. With more and more positive recognition of the gay community, now’s the perfect time to start aggressively tearing down the walls of stereotype and ignorance, even if by one brick at a time.

Hell, we might as well practice on the stereotypes within our own community. The other day a friend told me that some very out-spoken, Pride rally attendees accused him of not being “gay enough”. Not gay enough? Are you fucking kidding me?! Isn’t the fact that he’s exclusively attracted to other males enough of a prerequisite. So, is pride now a banner to wave in the face of your own brothers? Are we to compete for gay supremacy? Sorry, not this guy. So I don’t display my rainbow underwear on CNN. Does that make me less likely to have a successful adult relationship with another man. Is it really everybody’s business to know what my preference is? I like to watch sports, go hunting and fishing, and shoot some pool every once in a while. I also like being with other men. Being gay is just one small facet of my being. It doesn’t define who I am.

Look at advertising in gay pop media for example. All they show are twinks, athletes and bodybuilders. Where are the real people? Ever notice the travel advertisements for tours and gay cruises? Why does everyone have a swimmer’s build, a perfect tan, and their shirts off? Is that what we expect of each other? I think I’ve seen one advertisement showing a guy with a hairy chest, albeit over-groomed and on a body builder no less. I know that sex sells, but you have to admit that the media is helping to perpetuate the stereotypes. Show some real men on a plane to Paris and maybe I’ll start practicing my French.

So lets start making our mark. Don’t be afraid to be who you really are and not who society expects you to be. Be a man! Be a man who likes cock! Just be you! Who knows? Maybe if enough of us reveal the many and varied faces of our community, we can start to tear down the stereotypes by which we are judged. One brick at a time…

Back in the day, I produced the adult Bad Cub Club on the net. Robi was our first and most popular cub. He’s a great friend and an extremely sexy guy. Here’s a recent update shot from his home in Washington. Drop him a line at: thickmanart@yahoo.com or check out his art at Robi’s Gallery here at BCC! In the meantime, enjoy this hot journey down memory lane. WOOF!

All photographs by Kurt Groder Copyright © 2008